Eighty-nine kids, ages 5 – 19, came out on Monday in Arizona to audition for 60 spots in "Snow White and the Seven Dwarves", a show that is brand spankin’ new to me. The kids immediately impressed Shirnest (my tour partner) and me but we weren't remotely prepared for the unique conundrum that would soon present itself.

The kids lined up in height order, as usual, in a big circle on the stage and started off the audition yelling their names and ages as loud as they could from tallest to the smallest. At the very, very end of the circle with a voice louder than any, stood a dwarf.

The flood of thoughts that ran through my head at that moment was unreal. The first one was something to the effect of, "Well this is certainly different." Then it moved to, "Man, how old is she?" And finally, "Even if she does make it, do we have a costume small enough to fit her?"

I kept saying to myself, "Great! She's talented, she has a big, clear voice, and she moves fabulously. There is definitely a part for her!" But as the audition went on we learned that she was 11-- too young for a leading role and too old for a forest animal. There were only a few roles left that were right for her age and talent. Or make that Hmmmm…say… seven roles…..

As the audition came to a close we decided to pull her aside and tell her what we were thinking but before we could even open our mouths she said, "Just so you guys know I am a Dwarf."

I was a bit confounded by this statement because I thought the correct term was "little person", and here this little girl is telling us that she is a Dwarf….O.K, now what…does she mean a dwarf in our show or in life…Is it even p.c. to actually cast her as a …….. my brain was jamming…crap, why aren’t we doing LITTLE MERMAID anymore….my train of thought was broken by: "My friends told me that I should audition today even though I kind of just want to be an assistant director"…..

Shirnest, never one to beat around the bush, came out firing with, "Chris and I think you would make an excellent Dwarf."

"Oh," replied the girl as she screwed up her face in concentration.

She stood there for several long moments thinking deeply as I fought the urge to throw up in my mouth a little…

"Well, I think that would be OK", she finally replied with a shrug.

So that sealed it! Fifteen minutes later we announced the parts and the kids auditioning neither seemed surprised or even impressed by the fact that we had just successfully cast a dwarf as a … dwarf!!